Parents Corner: Supporting Your Child in Youth Sports
Welcome to the Parents Corner! Your go-to destination for all things related to supporting your child in youth sports! We’re thrilled to kick off this monthly newsletter series designed exclusively for you, the parents who are the driving force behind our players’ success.
At Santa Monica Surf Soccer Club, we understand the pivotal role parents play in shaping a positive and nurturing environment for our athletes. That’s why we’re committed to providing valuable insights, tips, and resources to help you become the best supporters you can be.
In this corner, we’ll dive into topics like effective communication with your child, emphasizing enjoyment, understanding the ups and downs of competition, trusting the process, and modeling positive behavior. Our goal is simple yet powerful: to guide, educate, and develop your perspective, ultimately creating an enriching environment for your child to love the game.
Get ready for an exciting journey as we empower each other to champion our players on and off the field!
Stay tuned for our first deep dive, “Discover the key conversations to have with your child on the way to and from practice and games,” in next month’s newsletter.
We look forward to an enriching journey together as we support our athletes’ growth and success on and off the field.
Blog #5: Understanding the Santa Monica Surf Soccer Development Pathway: A Parent’s Guide
Welcome back to the Parents’ Corner!
In this month’s blog post, we’re breaking down a vital aspect of your child’s soccer journey at Santa Monica Surf—the developmental stages they’ll experience. Whether your child is just starting or aiming to play in college or beyond, every player follows a carefully designed pathway.
At Santa Monica Surf, we’ve structured our program around three key phases: Ball Mastery, Application, and Competition. Each phase is tailored to the growth of our players, introducing new challenges that match their developmental stage. Imagine your child’s soccer journey as a road trip across the country. Just as you wouldn’t expect to drive from California to New York in a day, your child’s soccer development is a carefully planned journey with exciting stops along the way.
Have you ever wondered what skills your child should focus on at their current age or what challenges lie ahead in their development journey? In this blog post, we’ll map out this journey, helping you understand each stage of the Santa Monica Surf development pathway. By the end of this blog post, you’ll have a clear roadmap of your child’s soccer journey and how you can best support them at each stage.
Let’s dive in!
Phase 1, Ball Mastery (Ages 5-10): Building Skills and Loving the Game
Think of this as the foundation of your child’s soccer journey. It’s all about getting comfortable with the ball and falling in love with the game.
What’s the priority?
What it looks like in practice:
How can you support your child?
Parent Tip: Your enthusiasm and attitude are contagious at this stage. Remember, having fun with the ball is more important than perfect technique.
Phase 2, Application (Ages 11-15): Learning to Train and Compete
As players mature, they begin to refine and apply their skills in real-game situations and understand the tactical side of the game.
Sub-stages:
What’s the priority?
What it looks like in practice:
How can you support your child?
Parent Tip: This stage can be challenging as competition increases. Keep the focus on personal growth and team contribution rather than winning at all costs.
Phase 3, Competition (Ages 16 and Up): Showcasing and Performing
In the final phase, Competition, everything a player has learned up to this point comes together. Now, it’s about application and execution, showcasing their skills in high-level environments—whether that’s in a college showcase, a top-level tournament, or a National Championship. This phase is much like preparing for college applications—years of hard work leading up to key moments where players can show their worth.
What’s the priority?
What it looks like in practice:
How can you support your child?
Parent Tip: Your role is crucial in helping your child manage the increased pressure. Remind them that their worth isn’t determined by their performance on the field.
Our Commitment to Excellence
At Santa Monica Surf, we’re dedicated to providing your child with the best possible development environment. This carefully crafted pathway results from years of experience and ongoing refinement.
We understand that the success of this program relies heavily on consistent implementation across all levels. That’s why we continuously work with our coaching staff to ensure they follow this programming rigorously. Through regular training sessions, ongoing coaching education, and performance evaluations, we strive to maintain the highest coaching standards at every stage of your child’s journey.
Wrapping it up
Each phase in the Santa Monica Surf development pathway is designed to help your child grow as a player and a person. Remember, every child develops at their own pace, and success looks different at each stage.
“The attention to detail in each stage fosters an environment where players feel supported, encouraging them to embrace challenges, learn from setbacks, and take ownership of their development. As trust in our pathway grows, they become more invested in the process itself, realizing that growth takes time and that each step—whether a success or a setback—is a vital part of their journey.” – Arron Craggs, Santa Monica Surf Director of Coaching.
As you watch your child progress through these stages, celebrate their growth, support their challenges, and encourage their love for the game. Whether mastering their first touch or preparing for a college showcase, your support makes all the difference.
Encourage relentlessly, inspire consistently.
Blog Post #4: The Sideline Effect: How Parent Behavior Can Make or Break an Athlete’s Performance
Welcome back, Santa Monica Surf families, to another insightful blog post!
As our teams kicked off the new season this past weekend, I’d like to tackle a topic that can make all the difference in creating a successful and enjoyable experience for both parents and athletes in youth sports. The role of sports parents is instrumental in shaping your athlete’s performance, game outcomes, and the overall experience of our athletes on and off the field. From the sideline to the car ride home, your involvement is key to fostering an environment where our athletes can thrive.
In this blog post, we’ll explore practical strategies and insights into how parents can support their children in a way that promotes competitive success, personal growth, and joy in sports—setting a standard that transcends the game itself.
Imagine a typical game day: As the whistle blows, marking the start of the game, we see Max, a dedicated soccer player, glance nervously over to the sidelines where his parents are seated. His father, already shouting directions, is visibly invested in every move Max makes on the field. Each time Max makes a mistake, his father’s voice rises in frustration. This public display not only affects Max’s confidence but also alters his focus from enjoying the game to avoiding further mistakes just to appease his dad.
This scenario, all too familiar in youth sports, underscores the critical balance between supportive encouragement and overbearing involvement.
Creating a Positive Sideline Atmosphere
As a parent, your behavior on the sidelines can have a profound impact on your child’s athletic experience. The atmosphere you create during games can either positively or negatively influence your child’s performance, confidence, and overall enjoyment of the sport. It’s essential to recognize that your actions and words can bleed onto the field, affecting not only your child’s performance but also their teammates.
The Fine Line Between Support and Sideline Coaching
While it’s natural to want to offer guidance and support, it’s essential to avoid crossing the line into sideline coaching. Instead of providing tactical advice or criticizing your child’s performance, focus on boosting their morale and confidence. Cheer for effort and perseverance, not just points scored, or games won. This approach reinforces the value of hard work, personal development, and teamwork over winning at all costs. Remember, mistakes are a natural part of growth. Showing your support for effort rather than solely focusing on outcomes can profoundly influence how your child perceives and learns from their mistakes.
The Ripple Effect of Positive Sideline Behavior
When you create a positive sideline atmosphere, you can have a profound impact on the game. Your encouragement and support can:
By recognizing the importance of sideline behavior and making a conscious effort to create a positive atmosphere, you can play a significant role in shaping your child’s athletic experience and helping them develop into a confident, resilient, and respectful athlete.
Avoiding Overbearing Involvement
However, it’s crucial to differentiate a supportive presence from overbearing involvement. An over-involved parent might inadvertently put undue pressure on their child, manifesting in behaviors such as loudly criticizing officials, overtly coaching from the sidelines, contradicting or ignoring the coach’s instructions and game plans, which can confuse the child and undermine the coach’s authority and the team’s cohesion, and having lengthy, detailed post-game analyses, focusing on what the child did wrong instead of balancing it with what was done well. These actions not only distract but can also create anxiety and diminish an athlete’s love for the sport.
Parents should aim to be observers who cheer and encourage, not coaches who push for performance at any cost. For example, instead of shouting instructions, focus on general encouragement and post-game support that centers on your child’s efforts and enjoyment rather than the detailed outcome of their performance.
A study on the role of parental involvement in youth sports experience found that children perceived excessive active involvement and pressure from their parents but desired lower levels of involvement and pressure. Children also reported insufficient praise and understanding from their parents but desired more of it. The study suggests that excessive parental involvement can be perceived as pressure by children, leading to adverse outcomes such as stress, anxiety, and burnout. By being aware of these potential consequences, parents can learn to find a balance between supporting their child’s athletic development and allowing them to enjoy the game without undue pressure.
Creating a Supportive Dialogue
Initiating supportive dialogues after games can also significantly improve an athlete’s confidence and perception of their sports experience. Ask open-ended questions that encourage reflection rather than judgment. Questions like, “What did you enjoy most about the game?” or “What’s one thing you learned from today’s match?” help shift the focus from winning to learning and enjoyment.
Promoting Long-term Enjoyment over Short-term Wins
It’s also beneficial to remind ourselves that youth sports are not just about winning games or seasons but about developing skills, character, and a lifelong love for the sport. Encouraging athletes to appreciate teamwork, discipline, and the mere joy of playing is far more beneficial than focusing solely on scores or championships.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Moreover, setting realistic expectations is vital. Not every child will score the winning goal, and not every game will end in a win. Acknowledge the efforts and improvements, no matter how small, and remind your child that setbacks are also a part of growth and learning. This mindset helps to buffer the negative impacts of defeat and reinforces the concept of sports as a learning experience. Remember, participating in sports is like driving a car on the road to personal development, guiding young athletes through discipline, teamwork, and resilience, ultimately leading them to a destination of better character.
As we continue through this season, let’s all make a concerted effort to embody the principles of positive sports parenting. By doing so, we not only improve our athlete’s current athletic experiences but also equip them with valuable life lessons that extend well beyond the field. Our support should nurture their growth as athletes and individuals, celebrating their successes and guiding them through challenges with empathy and understanding.
Let’s be the positive role models on the sidelines who drive our athletes to succeed not just in sports but in all areas of their lives. By shifting our focus to enjoying the game, celebrating small victories, and removing the pressure of outcomes, we create an environment where athletes can build self-confidence and intrinsic motivation. As they feel supported and less burdened by the need to win, their natural drive to excel and discipline to improve flourish.
Interestingly, when we stop focusing solely on winning, the most significant results often begin to manifest. Together, we can make this season about the lessons learned and the joy experienced, not just the outcomes achieved.
Further Resources
For those interested in delving deeper into the topics discussed and exploring additional perspectives on sports parenting, the following resources are highly recommended:
Podcasts:
Blog Post #3: Supporting Your Child During Challenging Moments in Sports
Welcome back to the Parents Corner! Every young athlete faces challenges, whether it’s dealing with limited playing time, recovering from a tough loss, or handling an injury. As a parent, your response in these moments is crucial. Imagine this scenario: after a game where your child spent more time on the bench than on the field, they’re visibly upset. Your approach to this situation can directly influence their resilience and attitude toward sports.
When your child faces setbacks, the initial step is to provide a listening ear. Let them express themselves and their frustrations without immediately trying to fix the situation, judgment, or advice. This act alone can be incredibly comforting for them. Acknowledge them and validate their experiences, showing them that it’s okay to feel upset or disappointed. By not doing so, you could be invalidating them, making them feel misunderstood and isolated, potentially leading to decreased self-esteem and burnout for the sport.
After you have given them the chance to be heard then it’s appropriate to encourage your child to view challenges as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. This perspective shift can change a difficult situation into a learning experience. Discuss what they might learn from not getting enough playtime, such as the importance of persistence or how they can use this time to focus on areas of improvement. It’s also beneficial to share your own stories of overcoming challenges, as these can serve as both guidance and inspiration. These can also be non-sports related.
It’s also crucial to help them set realistic expectations and develop resilience. Remind them that progress in sports is often non-linear and that setbacks are part of the game. Encourage them to set small, achievable goals focusing on effort rather than outcomes. This approach helps build resilience by shifting the focus from immediate success to long-term development.
Another vital aspect of supporting your child is ensuring they don’t face these challenges alone. Encourage them to seek feedback and advice from their coaches. This not only helps them understand what they can improve but also strengthens the coach-athlete relationship, which is important for their development.
Lastly, emphasize the importance of maintaining balance. Encourage your child to engage in activities outside of sports, such as spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply relaxing. A well-rounded life helps mitigate the pressure of sports challenges and supports overall well-being.
Supporting your child through challenges involves balance. It doesn’t mean removing every obstacle they encounter; instead, it’s about teaching them how to face and overcome these hurdles themselves. This approach is important because encountering and managing challenges is an integral part of personal growth and development, especially in sports. When players learn to navigate challenges on their own, they develop resilience, self-confidence, and problem-solving skills that will benefit them beyond the field.
Stay supportive and stay positive!
Racca
Santa Monica Surf SC
Director of Programming
As summer break kicks into full swing, many parents find themselves looking for ways to support their athletes. The key to a successful summer is finding the right balance between encouragement and giving your child the space they need to enjoy their sport without feeling overwhelmed. Summer is a time for children to relax and have fun, but it can also be an excellent opportunity for them to maintain their fitness and refine their skills. Encouraging a balanced schedule that includes training, rest, and activities that spark their interest can help keep things fresh and engaging. Helping your child create a weekly plan that incorporates training sessions, rest days, and activities makes sure they stay organized while having ample time to unwind and enjoy their break.
Overuse injuries and burnout are risks for young athletes, making recovery time as important as training. Incorporating activities like swimming, yoga, or jogging can promote recovery and be a fun, relaxing way to stay fit. This balance helps avoid overstraining their muscles and keeps their fitness routine enjoyable. Click here to see research on Overuse Injuries, Overtraining, and Burnout in Young Athletes.
Mental health is another important aspect to consider. Sports can sometimes be stressful, and it’s essential to maintain a healthy mindset towards training and competition. Open communication is key—talk to your child about how they are feeling around training and the sport and encourage them to share their thoughts and concerns. Sometimes, simply listening can make a significant difference in their overall well-being.
It’s tempting to fill the summer with camps, clinics, and extra training sessions, but over-scheduling can lead to burnout. Ensure there’s plenty of free time for your child to enjoy their summer. Unstructured play can be just as beneficial as formal training, allowing them to explore their creativity and enjoy being kids.
Although dedication to their sport is admirable, it’s equally important to support your child’s other interests and hobbies. Encourage creative activities unrelated to their sport, such as playing an instrument. This helps them develop a well-rounded personality and prevents sport-related burnout.
For parents who can’t be there physically due to work, finding balance can be tough. Camps and structured activities can help keep your child engaged. Choose programs, camps, and private trainers that offer a mix of training, fun activities, and free time. Use the evaluations from your child’s coach to identify areas of improvement. Share these with a private coach to ensure focused, effective training. Regularly review feedback to adjust your child’s training plan, ensuring all their needs are met on and off the field.
Lastly, remember that sports should be enjoyable! The primary goal is for your child to have fun and develop a love for the game. Celebrate their efforts and achievements, no matter how small. Emphasize the joy of playing over the outcome.
Supporting your athlete during the summer involves balancing encouragement and giving them space. By prioritizing recovery, mental health, and a balanced schedule, you can help your child stay motivated and enjoy their sport. Your support and understanding play a pivotal role in their athletic journey.
Enjoy the summer, and happy playing!
Albert Racca
Blog #1: Key Conversations to Have with Your Child on the Way to and from Practice and Games
As a parent, the time spent driving your child to and from soccer practice and games is a golden opportunity to connect and support them. It’s important to have the right balance in these conversations, providing a supportive environment without being overbearing.
Here are some practical techniques, questions, and comments to make the most of these moments:
1. Start with Open-Ended Questions
Instead of jumping into advice or critiques, begin with open-ended questions that encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings.
Questions like, “What was the highlight of practice today?” or “What was the best part of the game?” allow your child to express themselves without feeling pressured or judged. These questions show that you’re interested in their experiences and value their perspective in a positive way.
2. Practice Active Listening
Active listening is key. This means giving your child your full attention, acknowledging their feelings, and refraining from interrupting or immediately offering solutions. Use affirmations like, “That sounds challenging,” or “I can see why you felt that way” to validate their emotions. Sometimes, kids just need to vent and feel heard without expecting you to fix anything. A helpful approach is to consider the three H’s: Does my child need to be heard, helped, or hugged? This can guide you in providing the right kind of support in each moment.
3. Encourage Reflection
Help your child reflect on their performance and experiences by asking reflective questions.
For example, “What do you think you did well today?” or “Is there anything you’d like to work on for next time?” This encourages a growth mindset, allowing them to identify both strengths and areas for improvement in a constructive manner.
4. Share Positive Observations
Offer genuine praise for their efforts and progress. Specific comments like, “I noticed you were really focused during practice,” or “You showed great teamwork today” can boost their confidence and reinforce positive behaviors. Highlighting their dedication and improvements helps them feel appreciated and motivated.
5. Know When to Stay Silent
Recognize that there are times when silence is key. If your child seems tired or reluctant to talk, respect their need for quiet. Simply being there with a supportive presence can be enough. You can let them know, “I’m here if you want to talk about anything,” giving them the space to decide when and if they want to share.
By using these techniques, you create a nurturing environment that promotes open communication, emotional support, and personal growth. Remember, the goal is to support your child’s journey in sports by being a listening ear and a source of encouragement, helping them develop not only as athletes but also as confident individuals.
Stay positive and keep encouraging.
Albert Racca
